Marriage

The marriage is not for individuals in Sahaja Yoga. It is two communities. It can be two nations. It can be completely two universes. (Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi 8 March 1980)

It is a thing to be enjoyed. After marriage you must share other Sahaja Yogis in your marriage. This is not a marriage of the old times. (SMND 9 August 1981)

Understand each other’s dignity. You should be respectful to each other. Be kind and wife and husband, both of them, are to be collective, to be pure, to be nice. (SMND 1 March 1990)

We are all going the same way. There are no two ways about it. There are two wheels needed to give it a balance. (SMND 8 March 1980)

Marriage should be genuinely done. That means you must respect, but genuineness should be there. There should be no deception, nothing. You are partners for life.... Sahaja Yoga marriages fail on one point which is very important. It is the point where collectivity clashes.... Now you are marrying under Sahaja Yoga. You are not marrying in a way that others marry and that is why one must understand that collectivity comes first. But you must love each other. You must understand each other, be sweet to each other, be kind, considerate, be conscious and aware that you have a wife or a husband. But the first thing is collectivity.... The two roles of men and woman are like the flower and the fragrance. Which is higher, the flower or the fragrance? If there is no flower, there is no fragrance. But without fragrance, what is a flower? Or a beauty? It is so much inseparable – fragrance and beauty and flower. In the same way the flower shows, but who is the beauty and who is the fragrance? It is the wife. That is how it should be. And then only people will respect you and your husband. (SMND 5 December 1980)

Marriage must make everyone happy. That is the first sign. If a marriage does not make everyone happy, such a marriage is a curse on society and these marriages do not stick also because you must have the support of the collective. If you have the support of the collective and if it generates joy and happiness, children are better, society is better and the whole situation is so good.... The marriage is the best way to give happiness to others. By having sweet children, having a good family, having a sensible life, gives such a joy to all the collectivity. So that is why it is important in Sahaja Yoga. (SMND 1 March 1990)

It is one of the most important things for Sahaja Yoga, that one should get married. Today we are going to have some Sahaja Yoga weddings in which you will see how we try to conform to the divine laws of marriage and get married under those laws.... One has to understand that fidelity is the basis of marriage. If there is no fidelity, marriage has no meaning. If you are not capable of being fidel, that means you are not yet a human being. A human being has to be a fidelity. In marriage, we confirm that the problem is over now, we have finished with the choices we had and now we are going to settle down with one person. And the sharing of life, in even absolutely private life, is with one person. So you have to be very much harmonized with that person and in complete understanding and loyalties to each other.... I hope you will understand that Sahaja Yoga is emphasizing on marriages and we do not believe in any asceticism, running away from family life. We believe that family life is the most important thing. We have to establish it very well on this Earth and we have to see in these beautiful nests of divine love that great souls are born and we have to continue with it. There is no escape from having a very good married life. And I wish you, all of you, that you will have a very good happy married life. And those who are not married, I wish that they also will have a very happy married life. Now I have been married, I think the thirty-sixth year is this, My marriage today. There are so many years that have passed, but I still feel like a bride with My husband because really we have been very wise people to live like that. And of course, there are ups and downs, but ultimately one feels very different about the whole thing. (SMND 7 April 1981)

The attitude towards marriage is that we have to have somebody who is our complement, that we have to have another wheel for our chariot. That’s all. But not that you completely merge with him and become one wheel. A mono-wheel chariot, I have not seen so far. So with your dignity, with your understanding, you must behave in a manner that people should say that this is a proper marriage. (SMND 30 December 1987)

These marriages are done by divine forces and these divine forces are with you until you behave yourself as married couples, understanding your responsibilities. Also the dress and the relationships you have there and the way everything is brought into the ceremony is because it makes you feel the significance of the whole protocol of this marriage. Supposing we just bring you down and say, “Now, sit down and sign here.” You will forget that you were ever married. You have to have all these events – sometimes of the dhoti, sometimes of the saris. All these events have to be there all the time to remind you how you got married and to make it look very important for you. (SMND 2 April 1988)

The marriage has taken place like an electricity if you plug it to the mains. It is not for getting attached to oneself, but it is for the use of that instrument. So the marriage is an instrument which is to be used, which is to be completely understood for the purpose of enlightening others. (SMND 10 March 1985)

Love is the basis between [husband and wife] – nothing else, not money, not what you have got for him or he has brought for you – nothing of that. (SMND 11 May 1982)